How this marketing exec changed her entire life for the better
One Sunday in January 2020, I spent the entire day apartment hunting. I was looking to buy my own place in my neighborhood -- the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It should have been a moment of celebration, a chapter-turning moment, but it didn’t feel right. It was unseasonably warm that day and as I walked back to my apartment, I had this unsettling feeling building in my gut -- like it just wasn’t the right move to make right now. But I didn’t understand why. On the surface, if you asked anyone they would say - I had it all. I was thriving as a senior leader at a booming tech company. I had my finances in order, cherished friendships, a close-knit supportive family, and a couple short-term but fun relationships that fit well around my demanding job.
I had joined the company just before it went public and was riding that wave - working my buns off day-in and day-out to build a team and deliver for the business. I loved it. I was incredibly proud of the team and the work we were doing. I was traveling constantly and working 80 hour weeks, but I felt like it was worth it. It was all adding up to my future goals; owning my own place, establishing a foundation for my personal life, and killing it in the corporate world.
A week after I was apartment hunting, everything came crashing down. I’ll spare you the details, but there were a few signs and moments that made me realize that I didn’t actually have everything under control. That realization left me reeling. While I had been working my buns off, I had frozen all other aspects of my life. All my personal activity came to a halt if work popped up (as it often did) and now I was faced with the ugly truth -- it seemed it was all for nothing.
That night I came home from work and fell to the floor. I’d never felt like this before -- like I had asbestosis in my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. It was like everything in the past decade flashed before my eyes and I was frozen on my floor forgetting how to move. I panicked and made a few calls. One of which was to my doctor, who had seen me several times in the months leading up to this for immune-deficient-related illnesses. At those visits, he warned me to slow down - but I opted for vitamins and kept truckin’. My body was run down -- physically, and now mentally. This time, he confirmed what my gut already knew but my head hadn’t caught up to yet; something needed to change. He recommended that I take a short break from work which seemed impossible to do.
I had worked hard my entire life. From growing up in rural Illinois to college in Madison, Wisconsin, to my first internship experience in New York during my junior year of college, I was always going. I started earning money from chores around the house, going door to door selling crafts that I made with friends in a basement (Creative Crafters 4 life!) to being a host at the local Sicilian restaurant the day after I got my driver’s permit. Working is what I grew up watching my parents do, and work translated to success. My parents instilled in me that work is how you survive, and ideally thrive.
I worked multiple jobs while juggling my schoolwork throughout college so that I would have enough money to move to New York after I graduated. I worked hard to make that dream a reality. For me, New York is this place where you can do anything you set your mind to. I was naive and thought if I just moved here, everything else would fall into place. But the really crazy thing is, it did.
I started bartending the first week I moved while I looked for a full time job. I scored a role at Lifetime Networks as a coordinator, and while I was only there for 8 months - that time propelled the rest of my career. I connected with life-long colleagues, one of whom became one of the most influential people in my career and my personal life. My first colleagues became the roots of my robust professional network. I went on to work for well-known brands in entertainment - from Howard Stern to the History Channel. Then I moved into one of the fastest growing sectors in entertainment - streaming TV.
I thought I knew how the whole business of life works; you work hard, play hard, build your life, career and a family will come along when the time is right and close friends will stay strong and by your side along the way. I thought I was set for the next chapter, but it was clear - I needed a break to regain my balance.
I decided to take a few weeks off of work. An option I didn’t know was possible, but I was fortunate to have a supportive People team that helped me line it up. It was the most vulnerable time in my life as I forced myself to get real uncomfortable. I brought in a team to help me re-find my way; an exec coach, a counselor, even an astrologer, and friends I knew would give it to me straight. I read a lot and reconnected with cherished family and friends I hadn’t been in touch with because of my work schedule. I received advice and tools to help me gain perspective which helped me find a way to reset my routine to focus on me.
Natalie walking as part of her morning routine in winter 2020.
Mostly, I spent a lot of time with myself. A lot of it was just awful. I spent so much time soul searching and reflecting on my thoughts -- which weren’t so shiny, it turns out. I was my own worst critic and the first to shut myself down. But by removing myself, I realized the weight that certain relationships carried in my life. Starting with the relationship with myself. The formula became - wake up - meditate - jam out - read - affirmations - walk - eat - read - walk - sleep. I repeated it every day.
By the end of my leave in February 2020, I knew that my former routine wasn’t the right fit and also that the current routine wasn’t sustainable long term. But I needed to open myself up to find my balance in what came next.
Unexpectedly, I got a call from a company that was based in San Francisco. They were looking for a marketing leader to guide their brand transformation during a pivotal time in their company’s growth. It would require me to potentially relocate. It just clicked -- it would be a reset. The vision of the company and the plan for the business made sense to me. The people were genuine and dedicated, and the founder cared deeply about the people and the success of the business he created. It just felt right. I was home.
I’ve been with Tubi now for 18 months. I joined during the stay at home order, initially working fully remote, and just started to weave in the bi-coastal routine from NYC. The future of where my home base will be is still unknown as I, like many others, navigate this new hybrid world. But regardless of where I live and what I do - the balance I’ve found is what holds me together.
The fundamentals of this role is honestly not that different from prior roles I’ve had. I’m building a team, rationalizing the value of marketing in an emerging entertainment-tech organization, and growing that value over time based on the unique vision set forth. Building trust and relationships remotely isn’t easy. I’ve built a 20+ person team who doesn’t work in the office together and is scattered around the country. I still have 80-hour work weeks, and now I’m back to traveling.
But what is different this time is my entire approach to work and life. I put my well-being at the top of my priority list. I have condensed the personal routine I developed while on leave to a daily practice. It gives me the strength and clarity to confidently conquer the challenges in my everyday life. Part of that routine is giving myself grace - not everyday is going to be the same - and being okay with that (which is half of my battle). My 80-hour weeks are balanced by this daily routine, and I make sure to schedule time to refocus my energy on my relationships with friends, family and myself. I’ve learned when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”
Throughout this journey I’ve learned that balance isn't equal parts; it’s fluid, it's the total sum that makes you whole. I’ve learned that positivity takes up much less energy than negativity, and that pivoting doesn’t come naturally, but I can build that trait, too.
So, if you’re feeling like you’ve lost yourself, or your balance, here’s my advice for getting it back:
Nurture your relationships...
With yourself - assess your own treatment of yourself. Take care of yourself. Identify your tools that feed your happiness, build a routine around applying those tools and cherish that time.
With your crew - let the good in and lean on it. Whether it's your family or friends that feel like family - find your people. How do you know if they are your people? Ask yourself - Can I trust them? Do they respect me? Do they show up? Do they follow through? Then those are your people.
With everyone else - You are in control of how everyone else affects your life. Know their purpose and stick to that. People come and go in your life and serve some purpose for your development. Even the crazy ones have a place - but knowing that purpose will help you manage the amount of equity they have in your life.
Focus on your energy…
On your time - Where you allocate your energy can determine your outcome. Do an assessment where you spend your time throughout a month. Does your time balance out?
On your faith - Put energy into finding your faith, whatever that means to you - find it. It will help you find peace at times where fear wants to take over.
On its fluidity- Energy is fluid. Let it flow into different areas of your life based on what you deem to be best suited for you.
On the positive - Positive energy is your biggest superpower. Negativity is like bad breath on a humid 90 degree day - it's toxic.
Embrace your power
You have the power to control 99% of what happens in your life. That is freeing. People can treat you like shit - but allowing their actions to affect you - is within your control. How you respond is up to you.
You have the power to work as much or as little as you want in life. Work can fulfill you, bring you joy and contribute to your balance, not take it over.
You have the power to say no and pivot your plan.
I hope this helps you find your own way, or that if you find yourself in an unsustainable situation you give yourself grace and time to move on. I know this wasn’t an easy road for me, but it was life-changing and I came out on the other side happier and more fulfilled. I hope you do, too.
Natalie Bastian is the Senior Vice President ofMarketing at Tubi, overseeing advertising and consumer marketing strategy, partner marketing, audience research, brand positioning and communications. Previously, Natalie was Head of Sales Marketing at Roku, and held marketing leadership roles at DISH and Sling Media.