Be vulnerable and open yourself to other viewpoints. This month, shift your perspective.
Someone very, very dear to me has terminal cancer. I’ve known this for a while, but over the past few weeks the terminal part has become more apparent. I don’t know how long he has left with us, but I know it’s never going to be as much as I want.
My default coping mechanism is controlling what I can control and obsessing over things that I know I can’t control but planning all sorts of scenarios anyway. Our apartment is nearly spotless, as I keep myself busy with tasks like vacuuming, dusting, and doing the dishes when my mind wanders and I can’t focus on doing the work that continues to pile up. That’s the rub about creative work, when your mind isn’t up to the task, it’s very hard to actually get anything done. And on the other hand, I’ve spiraled into trying to plan the impossible; when might we need to travel, how will that impact the work I need to get done, will we take the kids? If not, who will stay with them? Planning for death is like planning for birth -- there simply is no planning.
I called my boss the other day, concerned that an un-moveable deadline would tragically land at the same time he would pass. Through tears I asked if there was any wiggle room in the deadline? Could I work ahead now if other people also worked ahead? I was open, honest, and incredibly vulnerable. It’s my default to keep pushing through, to keep quiet and just get the job done. But I took a chance, and because I felt comfortable with her, I knew I could open up about what was going on. Her response was staggering -- essentially, don’t let this work stress you out. You should not even think about this for a second. We will figure it out if you need to go dark. This should be the least of your concerns.
That phone call shifted my entire perspective. In my coping, in avoiding my feelings and checking tasks off of lists, and throwing myself at various scenarios, I was missing the broader picture. This life, our lives, are what matter. Everything else is just details. Important details, yes. But we only have one chance on this Earth and when it comes down to it, what matters most is those we love dearly.
Last month we focused on our collective resilience. But often part of pushing forward and continuing amidst setbacks and pauses is having the chance for your perspective to evolve. Oftentimes, being vulnerable and asking for feedback, or simply opening up to someone else can give you that different view. It’s not easy letting someone else in, but to have another’s opinions on what we’re focusing on can cause a shift -- to make us realize that we’re focusing on the wrong thing.
This month’s topic will manifest through business and strategy advice -- including what a project post mortem is and why you might need to do one, and why you should give newsletters another look. On the personal side, M.T. Deco founder Melissa Blum is opening up about how her values shifted during the pandemic. And our series The Power of Influence continues with a deep dive look at Matt Navarra, social media consultant and creator of the incredibly informative Geek Out Newsletter.
We also have some great contributors lined up. Megan Collins of The Manicured Shelf is back with her perspective-inspired reading list, and we have a new monthly contributor, Lissie Jacobson, who is a music-obsessed friend of mine who is crafting a Spotify playlist for us all centered on our monthly focuses. This inaugural playlist is sure to be a favorite of mine. We’ll also hear from entrepreneur Kim Kaupe on the time she chose her business over her fiance, and how COVID had her regretting that decision [and… the perspective change she had in the process].
We hope you join us this month in being vulnerable with those around you, in allowing in outside thoughts, in asking for feedback, in being open to a changing perspective. It’s never an easy ride, but we promise it will be worth it. And as always, we’re right here cheering you on.