What's it like to be married to an entrepreneur?
Melissa Blum, CEO & Founder of M.T. Deco., with husband Jeff Blum. Credit: Mary Latham
by Jeff Blum, husband to M.T. Deco founder Melissa.
Have you ever Googled “spouses of entrepreneurs?” I have, and there’s some pretty dire stuff that comes up: Confession: I was married to an Entrepreneur in 2021…How to be an Entrepreneur and stay happily married. 8 Challenges that come from being married to an entrepreneur. Why it’s hard to be married to an entrepreneur…A lot of these articles make it sound brutal, and while it’s challenging at times to have my wife run her own business, it's been incredibly rewarding to be along for the ride.
When Melissa and I were just married we lived in DUMBO, [Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass] Brooklyn (before the SoHo house moved in across the street) as the neighborhood was just starting to change. We had reached the owning-a-car-phase of our New York City life - we couldn’t handle sweaty summer Friday afternoons in the dungeon of Penn Station to head to the North Fork any more. We found a “deal” on a monthly parking spot in Manhattan near 30 Rock, where Melissa worked at Nightly News, and my office in Rockefeller Center.
After weekends out of town, which were becoming more frequent, we had a routine where we would park the car in the neighborhood Sunday night and drive into Manhattan on Monday morning — it was an awesome drive in - over the Brooklyn Bridge with the sun coming up over the East River, up the FDR as Manhattan was waking up for the week, past the UN and cut over into Midtown.
Those Monday morning drives were a glimpse into (what we thought pre-COVID) our near future would be like. Drinking our venti Starbucks, listening to NPR morning edition - we were such yuppies—we frequently discussed how we envisioned our future family life during the drive: do we stay in the city? Where would we live? East coast? West Coast? Each conversation though seemed to touch on the idea of Melissa being her own boss, working on her own company, and allowing her the flexibility to be home with our would-be family. She would frequently tell me examples of other women who had left the media grind, to start their own company, build their own brand and work from home.
A year later, our son was born, and Melissa was back at work, soon so was the idea of Melissa doing her own thing. While we both appreciated the romance of Melissa’s career aspirations at NBC, neither of us thought the demanding and grueling hours of network news was the right option for our family. We looked at both our benefits packages and it made the most sense for us to remain on the family insurance plan offered by my company, among other long-term benefits for me to be the one to keep my corporate job.
Melissa Blum, CEO & Founder of M.T. Deco., with husband Jeff Blum at home. Credit: Mary Latham
Fast forward a few more months and M.T. Deco was full speed ahead. I knew the quality of work she was capable of - especially after I saw her work producing the digital content for CNN’s, ‘The 80s‘ Documentary series. But, honestly, I didn't realize how good her work ethic actually was, and how much time and effort she would devote to her own business, while at the same time being an awesome mom to our two kids.
If there was one word I would use to describe how she treats her business, and I think she would agree, it would be accountable. With accountability comes a strong work ethic and attention to quality -- she puts that on herself and her company. A huge difference from her old media world is that she is completely accountable to her clients, versus a boss or an executive producer. It’s extremely high-stakes and she continues to work incredibly hard and puts in a lot of hours. But somehow she pulls it off.
Though it isn't all as perfect as M.T. Deco’s digital strategy plans. She doesn't really take days off, (telling her to take a day off didn’t go very well), though I subtly try to get her to take more time for herself. I’ve found the best way I can support her is to listen, let her vent, and be there for those middle-of-the-night-work-induced-insomnia bouts.
So, if you have a spouse, partner, or family member who is on this wild entrepreneurial ride, take it from me, there are things you can do to support them [and some you absolutely shouldn’t try]. Here’s my best advice:
Plan your weeks and be on the same page for the week ahead. Aligning with each other’s calendar really helps with organizing kids schedules, knowing when the other is especially busy, letting your partner squeeze in a workout, or run errands
Prioritize date night. I am guilty of not doing this enough, but planning a night out during the week really helps break up the work week, creates some distraction and lets you get out of the work from home cave
Accept that they are going to be stressed and anxious. Try not to talk them out of having that anxiety. Having anxiety is normal. I’ve found that listening, and even taking a few punches to help them let off some steam goes a long way.
As M.T. Deco heads into the next year of being in business, I am incredibly proud -- though not surprised -- at how successful it has become and how I know it will continue to grow. Melissa is not only a great partner for me, but she is kicking butt at the entrepreneur-mom life, and I’m so grateful to be on this ride with her.