Over-thinking about someone? We have the book for you.

From what I can tell, Allison Raskin didn’t plan on making a career out of vulnerability. However, she is vulnerable on main, and it’s led the NYT best-selling author to several successful content franchises. (Some of my favorites include her Gossip & Just Between Us podcasts) 

From the time I discovered her as the co-host of her YouTube series, also called Just Between Us, to her latest release, Over-Thinking About You, Raskin has lived that adage of “Your vulnerability is your superpower.” Allison is incredibly open but careful with sharing her lifelong experiences with mental health, including OCD and anxiety. In Over-Thinking About You, she unpacks how these challenges can intersect with (and further complicate) relationships.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Allison at a conference. When I introduced myself, she was kind enough to take me up on my offer for coffee. There, we talked about all the usual things: our careers, the nature of content creation, and our partners. (Who we both thought we were going to marry. Allison was even engaged!) Several months and about one-third of a pandemic later, we both found ourselves in the same situation: suddenly single and not by choice.

I was only a few days out from my breakup when I came across Allison’s Instagram post that she too, had been unceremoniously abandoned by her fiancé with little to no reason. (That was the part that had been driving me crazy, WHAT WAS THE REASON?!) As a perfectionist, I wanted to know where I had gone wrong, how I could improve, and what I could do better next time. 

Though we weren’t that close, the coincidence was so remarkable that I decided it was appropriate to reach out. I texted Allison to let her know I’d been through something similar, and we had a brief but validating chat. Talking to Allison, I found myself saying things that reassured me, like “It sucks to have the rug pulled out from under you” and “You deserve to be with someone who has put in the work on themselves.” 

These were things I had not yet said to myself but also rang true for my situation. While our text convo was brief, I put my phone down, feeling less alone and taking the whole thing less personally. Too often, we suffer in silence because we want to present our best possible selves. However, to forge genuine, authentic connections, we need to be more honest about what we are going through. Only then are we able to send each other a little encouragement.

That day, I was grateful that Allison shared her story. Not only could I relate, but we could connect on a deeper level, something we wouldn’t have been able to do without sharing first. Now, she’s shared a whole book of her wisdom with us, and I buried the lead here; Allison is a hilarious person and comedy writer. So, I can’t wait to laugh, cry, and learn about how mental health can affect relationships, and I hope you all will as well.