Listen to your heart: how I found my path and you can, too

I realized a decade into my career that I was on the wrong path. Looking back, I can’t believe it took me so long to figure it out. But it wasn’t until I got engaged and started to plot out the thing I’ve always wanted - my family - that I realized those in roles I was working toward, did not share the same perspective as me.

Sure, my former senior colleagues might have been married and/or had kids, but what I really wanted was freedom. Before my kids were even born I knew I’d want the power to be able to A) see them when I wanted and B) the freedom to choose how I spent my time [as a self-confessed workaholic and perfectionist, I felt - and still feel - that I am the best judge on when I can turn my work on and off].  

I came to accept that these were fundamentals I was unwilling to give up, and my mission to navigate out of a career path I’d been slaving at officially began.

I agonized. I panicked. I let it dominate my maternity leave. I stressed and suffered from insomnia. It was a very challenging time that also doubled as an identity crisis. For so long, my career was my primary focus, and every promotion equaled a notch of validation and success on my LinkedIn belt. Who was I if I wasn’t Melissa from NBC or CNN?   

Melissa Blum is the CEO & Founder of M.T. Deco. She is pictured here with her husband Jeff and their two kids, Wally and Lucy.

Even though I had put in years of hard work, the moment I felt trapped in my job, nothing else mattered.  My priorities changed.  When I returned from leave, I started saying to myself in the midst of 12+ hour workdays, “What is this even worth if I can’t decide when and where I want to be at a given time?” Asking for vacation days off, time that I was entitled to, and waiting for approval became unbearable. 

I tried to change the culture where I worked - I ran my team the way I wanted to be treated and I tried easing back in from maternity leave with a partial work-from-home schedule - but it was exhausting being both an advocate for change and a guinea pig.  This was also pre-Covid and convincing others that working from home was practically unheard of.  I so wanted to be a role model for other young mothers. I wanted them to see that they too could be in a leadership role with babies and “have it all.”  But I came to realize that change, while possible, would take time and I decided I was unwilling to risk any of my son’s precious babyhood.

I knew that I would have a greater impact as an entrepreneur outside of the corporate world rather than trying to be one on the inside. And for the first time in my life, I put blinders on, shut out the judgment I was projecting on myself and took steps to get out.

First I came up with the idea for my company based on all the work I’d done. I was convinced that the same methodology and strategic approach we used for on-air talent and TV shows could be applied across industries - and 2.5 years later, I can confirm I was right. Then I created an LLC.  It took me over a year, but I created my website and social platforms. I networked with anyone and everyone I could. I said yes to every client. Cut my spending, hired help, got an office, and found success. I opened doors I didn’t know existed and ultimately, found my power.

Life these days is still challenging. I still work too many hours and in an almost hilarious change of circumstances thanks to the pandemic, I need to find opportunities to actually leave my house and get time away from my kids. A big lesson I learned in the process is that I am inclined to work at an intense pace no matter what I’m doing, so I need to make sure I’m not only in control of the goals I’m building toward, but am intentional with my actions as I get there [still working on this].

What is the takeaway?  What can I impart to all of you?  

Here’s the biggest thing - if you find yourself where I was, very far down a path you realize you don’t want to be on, it’s difficult to see a way out or a clear cut solution. But you can make a change. Start by acknowledging what you don’t like or want. Identify those negatives first in order to find the positive. For example, I was upset the way my days were being spent, therefore I knew I needed to take control. Once I saw that, the path started to - slowly- reveal itself.

It’s cliche and there’s so many ways to put it - listen to your heart, trust your gut, use your instinct - but it’s true. My company and I are proof that the thing that’s been nagging you can completely change your life for the better if you’re willing to prioritize it.