I’m going to be unapologetically selfish this month. Here’s why you should, too.

It was Tuesday night at 8pm. We didn’t have childcare that day. So, I had squeezed all the work I could into the 1.5 hours I had between dropping my youngest son at school and picking him up again, feeding him, putting him down to nap, picking my older one up, taking him to an appointment, then to the toy store to get a gift for a birthday party this weekend, then to the butcher, and then back home to get the little one up from nap, and give him a snack. 

Next came dinner making and lunches for the next day while I tried to “keep an eye” on the two of them who were definitely just pulling every single toy out of every nook and cranny in our apartment and hitting each other with them. By the time I wrestled everyone to bed and got back to my must-do TeuxDeux list for the day, (after having moved as much as I could to other days), I realized I had been miraculously productive for the time I had available. But there were still two things left: write Letter from the Editor and shower. 

And so, greetings from my bathtub. Welcome to December. I’ve got enough candles glowing to see the page of my notebook but also to probably, definitely, maybe burn my apartment down. I tossed in a lavender bath bomb that was supposed to be relaxing but is leaving weird flecks of actual dried lavender stuck to my arms. There are kids toys strewn about and I’ve tucked a little plastic wine glass in between them because this is my wind-down time, damnit. This is me killing two birds with one stone. And it’s mildly-relaxing, and semi-creative. 

My hope for sharing it all is that maybe, just maybe, this whole crazy day in my life will resonate with you, too. Because you’re also doing too much and everything ends up being half as good as you want it to be– but you don’t have enough time or space or energy to make everything the way you want it. And something about all of that makes you feel deeply guilty. Or like you’re doing it all wrong.

Here’s the thing: While this may read like a story of me “doing it all” – I’m here to tell you that I actually can’t do it all. And you can’t either. And neither of us should have to. If you, like me, have been programmed from a young age to have a thriving career AND be a kick-ass mom (or friend, or partner, or all of the above), but you feel like you’re failing at everything, you’re not alone. What’s worse, this time of year the pressure to be the awesome mom really kicks up a notch: getting perfect presents for everyone on your list, juggling parties and other social commitments, Santas, and Elfs on the Shelf, all while trying to finish all your work in a condensed timeline because you want to make ALL THE MEMORIES. It’s deflating. It’s exhausting. 

Honestly, I don’t have an easy answer for you. I don’t know how to “fix” this issue. But what I can say is that if you also feel like you’re in the final couple miles of a marathon (TBH I’ve never run more than 3 miles but I imagine this is what the end of a marathon feels like – all you runners out there correct me if I’m wrong) – can I offer a little perhaps…unpopular advice? 

Be selfish. 

Don’t do it all. Don’t even try. Put yourself first for once. Take that luxurious bath because YOU want to, not because it’s on your to-do list to clean your body – and gosh can you just remember once to take care of yourself without writing it down first? Buy yourself the gift you think is too indulgent. Say “no” to that holiday party that you really *should* go to but don’t really have time for. Hide under the covers if you need a break from family (or just hide out in the bathroom for a bit and blame Uncle Henry’s appetizer). 

This might not be the answer but what I do know is this: if you don’t prioritize you, no one else will. 

We’re bringing this badassary / standing up for yourself vibe to all things M.T. Deco this month. We’ve got a couple videos from founder Melissa Blum about how she’s standing up for business growth and herself by raising client fees, holding boundaries, and having uncomfortable conversations. You loved her blog post on this so much, that we asked her to elaborate on camera – and you can hear it straight from her. And by request, we’re sharing our team’s favorite newsletters so that you can feel informed, inspired, or educated at your leisure. We’re also rounding up our top blog posts for 2022, and all our Spotify playlists, in case you’ve missed anything the MTD community has loved so far. 

To that end, our contributors are crushing it, as always. Resident DJ Lissie Jacobson has built the anti-holiday playlist that is alllllll my vibe right now – Femme Fatale might make you feel like you’re about to go rob a bank, but in a good way. Megan Collins of the Manicured Shelf has a perfect book for each of the personalities in your life – making the whole gift-giving thing a little easier. 

Finally, we’ll have a look at all the hype around astrology this year because we all need a bit of fun to wind down 2022. Yes, we’re rolling out a lot – but in the spirit of our holiday selfishness – take what you need. Read what you want. Leave everything else. 

See you next year. 

x