How this ambitious workaholic redefined work and life on her terms

Fourth of July weekend I found myself back at home in Texas, face to face with a young man who was still a child the last time I really connected with him. We caught up about the last few years, and I started feeling guilty as I explained why I had been away for so long. I listed the cities and the jobs that had taken me far away from the comforts of home, knowing the whole time that what I was saying generally went against our unspoken family values. People in my large, Mexican family usually stay close. In another conversation, I found myself apologizing to my 18-year-old cousin for showing up to a quinceanera on an iPad, rather than in person. The apology was 3 years late. 

My full name is Anna Margarita Gonzalez; my family calls me Margie. Anna is what people call me at work; I guess she’s the ambitious workaholic. Margie must be the one who needs to be around family. Growing up I was usually surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles and friends. One of my earliest memories is of falling asleep under party lights, still feeling the base coming from the loud speakers. I was at a family gathering and had danced myself silly. I rested in my aunt’s lap knowing that my family was still enjoying the party around me. 

And yet, growing up there was also a restlessness inside of me that needed to see what the rest of the world had to offer. And perhaps more than that, I needed to see what I could offer the rest of the world. At an early age, I knew I was a strong communicator, and that path led me to working in the media industry. But as I started to climb the ladder, I realized that my home town of Dallas, Texas wouldn’t be able to satisfy my ambition. I needed to go to New York. 

In 2010, about five years into my career, I had my first opportunity to leave Dallas. I received a call from a hiring manager at CNN for a role on the assignment desk at CNN. The job was mine if I wanted it. I accepted right away. The manager laughed, “Isn’t there someone you want to check in with before agreeing to move all the way to Atlanta?” No, I answered. I knew my husband wouldn’t hold us back from this adventure.  

It took about a month to get the new place set up. We didn’t have a bed, but I wanted the living room to look good for when we had guests. Once the frenzy of setting up the new place was over, I sat on the couch and realized -- there was no one to invite. “I miss my cousins.” I said through tears. 

That year my heart physically hurt while I was at work. We spent every vacation back in Texas. We didn’t go more than 4 months without seeing family. I just kept telling myself to stay a year before going home. “Just get it on your resume,” I told myself. And then --- I got promoted and stayed for 3 more years. By that time, my heart had finally stopped hurting, and I had a lovely community of people in my life. But after a 16-hour day working breaking news, I promised my family I’d wrap up the gig and head home. 

But then in January of 2015 I got another call. 

“Oh hi, New York. Yeah, I didn’t think you got any of my other texts. You wanna hang out now? Ok, yeah. I guess I can make time.” 

A recruiter at a media company in New York wanted me to interview for a management position. I got the job and told my family I wasn’t coming home. Thankfully they celebrated with me as I finally achieved my goal, and me, my husband and our two dogs moved across the country again. 

The thrill of being in the city kept any heartache away for years. Most of our vacation time continued to be dedicated to going home, and family members were thrilled to get a chance to come visit me on the East Coast. We saw each other often, and I had no plans of leaving my beloved city. 

Then in November of 2018 I received another call. This time it was my little brother. His daughter Talia was on the way. I dropped everything and caught the first flight to Dallas. 

In the cab I wrote this note to her: “As you were being born, I was working on a content deal with one of the biggest startups in the world. It’s important to me that you know about this moment because I want you to learn quickly that anything is possible. We are Gonzalez women. We are strong in the face of adversity. We are resilient in hard times and we love fiercely. You have it in you to push further than any of us have.” 

With the birth of Baby Talia, the heartache returned. I really wanted to figure out a way home to Texas. But then I got another call in the summer of 2019. This time it was a recruiter at Google and the job would take me across the country once again.

This time the move felt different than the one from Dallas to Atlanta or the move from Atlanta to New York. I felt uprooted. California was beautiful, but I struggled to feel at home. I was also still finishing up grad school and traveling back to New York every other weekend. As I walked the sidewalks in sunny Cali, I could somehow still felt the cold of winter and the lights of the city all around me. My physical body was on the West Coast and my spirit remained on the East Coast. Meanwhile, my heart was yearning for Texas. 

And then COVID hit in March of 2020. As many people did, I suddenly found myself at home alone with my husband and our two dogs. There was no community around us. And even if there had been, we wouldn’t have been able to see them. A few months later, our dog Lola died and it was just me, Jim and Ali. Our family was shrinking, and I wanted to run far away from California -- from the fires, the restrictions, and the fear of getting on a plane to see family. 

By September of 2020, 11 months after moving from New York to California, we made another cross-country move. This time it was home to Texas. 

We moved home on blind faith, y’all. I didn’t have permission from work to move back; in fact, work was still sending notices about the eventual return to the office. As long as the deadlines were pushed, I pushed away the thought of moving away again. 

As we waited in limbo about what would happen to my job, my family and I worked through the transition of being around each other during the pandemic. For weeks we debated whether or not to hug each other. But soon my mom and I couldn’t hold back. We craned our necks and held our breath so we wouldn’t accidentally expose each other if either of us unknowingly carried the virus. As much of the world did, my family and I had to develop new rules for interacting. It was down right awkward most of the time, but we’d remind each other to be grateful to have the opportunity to even be in the same location to give each other an elbow bump. 

In July of this year we got ready to move back to California to be ready to start back in the office in September. We had a “This is not a goodbye” party planned for our last weekend in town. That week the work policy changed again, and I found out I could apply to work from home. My management team said they’d support me working remotely full time, and the “Goodbye, Texas” party became a “We’re staying in Texas!” party. 

Since the vaccinations began, we've been able to see so many family members -- including the next generation of Cantu's y Gonzalez's. My new life goal really isn’t about my career anymore or getting to a specific location. I’m now focused on being the best damn Tia Margie I can possibly be. 

 So that ladder that I was so obsessed with climbing? I got off of it. And just because my ambitions are more set on family now than career advancement doesn’t mean I will not continue to move forward in my career. I trust that my hard work will continue to bring me new opportunities as it has over the last 16 years.

 I’m so grateful for having the opportunity to climb the biggest mountain I could think of and for the time being on the summit. What I’ve realized this year is that I can move the ladder and - even better - can shape what each step on the ladder is. I can continue to define that for myself in the future. You can too.

Anna Gonzalez has over 16 years of experience in content production and is a Senior Program Manager of Content Strategy at Google. Her prior experience includes working as the Head of Social Media for Nasdaq and CNBC in New York City. Prior to becoming a New Yorker, Anna was the Social Media Manager at CNN in Atlanta. Anna started her career doing digital roles for News 8 in Austin and at the CBS affiliate in Dallas. She identifies as Texican, which is a Mexican-American person from the state of Texas.