How my approach to rest has changed since the pandemic
Melissa Blum is the CEO & Founder of M.T. Deco. Credit: Mary Latham
Have you felt like there is no separation between work/life since the start of the pandemic? Yeah, me too. While I am a huge fan of working from home, the blurred start/end of the workday, mixed with fielding my toddlers and underscored by the ever-present chaos of running my own business, makes it feel like I’m always on, 7 days a week. Part of this is parenting and realizing the minute you have a kid, there is no such thing as time off. Even when I get breaks, part of my brain is always on my kids and their well-being. As a way to deal, I’ve changed my approach to rest, and it’s greatly helping me keep up with [waves hands around] all the things.
The new rule I made for myself is that I’m allowed to rest whenever I want and however I want, with as little guilt as possible. I got here after months of trying to “power through” every day with many coffees in hand. Then, I caught a 10-day cold for the first time in forever and realized that my body was run down and I needed a change. But how? How could I fit in the self-care routines I know work for me with non-existent time? [my god I miss Sunday afternoons in NYC with yoga classes followed by a steam and smoothie at Equinox]. The answer is in microdoses while being hyper-sensitive to exactly what it is I need to replenish.
The biggest shift I made was to first break down preconceived notions of rest that I had. For example, that naps are for those who don’t have full-time jobs, or that turning on The Real Housewives midday while eating lunch is a sign of laziness. If I caught myself doing either of those things, I would feel guilty. But I know I work hard and I’m not lazy, so passing that judgment on myself showed me that something was off. I started to think of rest the same way I think about food. Food is meant for nourishment and you turn to different foods for different benefits. Rather than judge what I was doing, I started to look at why I was doing it. Maybe I was tired because I slept poorly, maybe I was feeling jealous of a friend’s vacation because I hadn’t left my house in three days, or maybe my body was tense because I was crouched over my laptop for hours. My perception of rest evolved from seeing it as indulgent activities to necessary self-care in order to function properly.
Rest for me falls into three categories; mindful, mindless and physical activity. Depending on how I’m feeling, I need different things at different times, and I try hard to give my body what it’s asking for. Here are examples of how I tap into all three in a given week:
Mindful. Mindfulness, for me, is when I consciously AVOID thinking about time-sensitive stressful stuff. Here’s how I practice mindfulness:
Nature - I love walking barefoot in my yard to ground myself or jumping in the bay for a cold, Wim Hof style plunge, while focusing on the things I’m most grateful for
Meditation - I use the Headspace app and usually follow one of the ongoing series themes like optimizing sleep or combating anxiety so that it feels like I’m being productive and building upon something every time I do it
Journaling - always and forever love my daily Five Minute Journal routine
Mindless. Mindless rest is where I give my brain a break and zone out. I do this by:
Taking baths - specifically with Dr. Teal’s epsom salt foaming bath
Reading - I’ve set a goal to read 24 books this year and I’m using our monthly reading lists created by Megan Collins of @themanicuredshelf to do it
Indulging with technology - I know, I know, scrolling my phone isn’t healthy, especially before bedtime, but I enjoy it by setting time limits for use, like 30 minutes on Instagram
Physical activity. Being active is one of my favorite things to do. My go-tos include:
Walking/hiking - whether it’s walking my neighborhood, beaches or in the woods, I love spending time moving my body outside
Yoga - currently obsessed with the Peloton app and grabbing 30 minute yoga sessions with Denis Morton or Kristen McGee [and you don’t need a bike to do it!]
When it comes to resting, I allow myself to take it any time I can, day or night. Sometimes it’s 10 minutes before sunrise, or 30 minutes at 2pm before I pick up my son, or even in the middle of the night if I have bad anxiety.
Hopefully, I’ll be able to get more time to myself when my kids are a little older and my business is more mature, but I’m thankful I’ve been able to find self-care in a way that works for my life right now. And hopefully, by sharing this radical idea of rest, I’ve inspired you to find time for yourself, too.